Mothers, be accountable for what you teach your children!
When I see a parent acting in a way that is less than admirable in front of their child(ren) I get fired up. Part of me wants to give them a good slap upside their head in the hopes that it will knock some sense into them. No, I am not a parent but that doesn’t really matter. And before any parents come back at me challenging my perspective, what I am about to say is more than valid. I call it like I see it, and any responsible parent should be able to see the logic in my complaint. With that said…
Last weekend I went to see “Avatar” in IMAX 3D. By the way, absolutely great film, but that’s a different story. Given that it was opening weekend and the first two nights we tried to see it we turned away because tickets were sold out, we played it smart and bought tickets early. Well not completely. We went to see the 6:30 show, of course it was sold out, so we bought tickets for the 10:15 showing. We killed some time shopping, had dinner, then headed back to the theater more than an hour early in order to get good seats, thinking we’d beat the crowd. We were wrong. A nice-sized line had already begun to form itself in the lobby of the theater. At the front of the line, some kids had obviously been camped out for several hours; a few I recognized from the ticket line from the 6:30 showing. We chuckled about the whole thing and then joined the line ourselves.
A nice family got into line directly behind us, the mother and I even joked about the line and our shared plot to secure good seats by arriving early. Finally, right around 10:00 the theater staff opened the doors and started to let us in. A collective feeling of happiness filled the air as we all prepared to see the highly anticipated film. As we moved forward, a family of about 5 somehow eased their way into the line behind us. And by ease I mean outright cut in front of the people that were behind us. I looked back, shook my head, and exchanged a comment with my date.
The skippers consisted of a mother, what might have been a father, a teenage boy, and 3 younger children. The mother was obviously the ringleader of this particular deebo move. The victims, the family behind us, consisted of a mother, father, son and daughter. The father, who was rightfully disgusted with the woman spoke up and pretty much told her he didn’t appreciate her actions. Instead of showing the least bit of remorse, she starts a back and forth argument with the man defending her actions. Her excuse, she bought tickets the day before and didn’t feel she should have to wait in the long line with everyone else.
She was loud and wrong. I just looked at her with disgust. Here she was acting like a complete jerk in front of her children, and she was completely fine with that. Being who I am, as she continued to argue with the man, I made some comments to my date expressing my disapproval of her actions, purposefully loud enough for her to hear, and I know she did. Part of me was embarrassed by her actions and embarrassed for her even though I’m sure she wasn’t embarrassed for herself in the least bit. And yes, I called her parenting skills into question. Passive aggressive? Absolutely and I’m not ashamed to say it. She definitely heard me because apparently she was shooting me dirty looks.
Her kids didn’t seem the least bit phased or embarrassed; almost as though this was behavior they were used to. They probably looked at her and thought “go ahead Mama!” But as a mother, should that really be what you want your children to see? Is this the type of behavior as a parent what you’d want your children to grow up believing is appropriate? Does she even realize that through her actions she could be teaching her children to be as big a jackass as she was?
I’m sorry people, but some of you parents need to step it up and take your job seriously. There is NOTHING anyone can say to convince me her actions were warranted. Fine, she was frustrated and didn’t want to wait in the long line. Then take your family to see the film during a matinee showing when the crowds are lighter. Or don’t go during opening weekend. Sometimes I wish people were required to earn a license to parent. If I need a license to drive or carry a firearm, then you need to prove you’re capable of proper parenting.
I need some parents out there to please comment and weigh in.
Secret Ambitions…what’s yours?
Just wanted to share a few of my secret ambitions/fantasies.
#1 I’ve always wanted to be a DJ. I’ve tried a little something something on the ones and twos once (ah, you like the use of my lingo?) but want to get back at it. Know what, I think I might be pretty good at it once I get it down. I have a A LOT of respect for DJs, the really good ones, who spin on vinyl. No disrespect to the new era of CD-DJs but there’s nothing like watching a DJ work two turntables, swapping out records left and right and not missing a beat. But knowing what records costs, I think I’ll have to learn on CD or go 100% computerized. Yeah I’m sellin’ out, what of it! lol
#2 Background singer. Music genre of choice would be anything with soul: R&B, Soul, Zouk, Kompa Direk, Soca, Reggae, Salsa (I’d have to learn my parts in Spanish because everything I know I learned in 5th grade and it’s not much), whatever I can groove to. I’m kinda shy so I don’t think I could be a lead singer, but there seems to be a certain vibe about being on stage as a performer. And nothing beats the energy of live music. So a background singer is the perfect solution, just hang out in the back and jam!
#3 A professional ballroom dancer. Ever watch those competitions on PBS? Well I absolutely LOVE them and can’t get enough. They’re amazing to watch especially the Latin dancers. I’d definitely dance in the Latin division. Smooth, jive, yeah those will work quite nicely as well. But the Waltz, you can keep that to yourself unless it’s a modernized version. And the outfits, killer!
So that’s pretty much it. Randomly felt like sharing, but this is an open discussion people! Share back your secret ambitions, dreams careers, bucket list goals. I know I’m not the only one that has them.
Work Hard, Play Hard!
Walking a fine line...
I know you’ve heard the saying “Work Hard, Play Hard” right? Well I’ve heard it plenty but I haven’t been very good at living by it in my professional life. I work hard, period. So hard in fact that play is an afterthought if even a thought at all. By the time work is done there’s nothing left for play. You know what; I’ve come to realize that’s not the best way to live. Life is too short and needs to be experienced to the fullest so I’ve been working at finding a better balance between my work and play side, in addition to my other sides (but that’s another discussion altogether).
I’m very fortunate to be gainfully employed to do what I enjoy, which for many people is not the case. Don’t get me wrong, some days (weeks even) I outright hate my job and everything about it. And I mean every single, solitary, minute aspect of it drives me to want to quit and open a bed and breakfast somewhere. But for the most part I recognize the blessing bestowed on me that allows me to do what I love. My job used to involve a lot more international travel but in the past year or so we have not had the opportunity to leave US soil. So when the opportunity arose for me to travel to the Cayman Islands to work during the 2009 Cayman Jazz Fest, I jumped at the chance. And yes, I think I literally jumped when my boss brought up the trip.
Don’t get me wrong, when we work we WORK, usually pulling 14-18 workdays and I hardly have the opportunity to enjoy the locale I happen to be in. But hey, life could be worse. Did we work? Hell yeah! But I found time to enjoy the fact that I was enjoying 75- 80 degree weather daily with no rain for a full week in December while back in Atlanta the temperature was hanging around 35 and raining with the threat of snow. So I made sure I spent as much time as possible on the beach and in the ocean or simply walking down Seven Mile to the Captain Bakery for beef patties and an assortment of pastries.
Lesson learned? I need to enjoy my life more and continue to work on that balance between my professional obligations and the obligation I have to myself to do things that make me happy. What’s the point of working myself to death and not even be able to look back on my life when I’m 80 and say “I worked hard, I loved hard, I played hard and I did it with humility and integrity.” That’s what I aspire to and that is what I commit to.
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They actually let me "drive" the ship, suckers!
The crew hard at work
My Deepest Apologies for my absence…
My deepest and sincerest apologies for my absence. I has dawned on me that it has been a little over two months since my last post. In all honesty, it really didn’t feel like so much time has passed. To me, it’s only been a couple of weeks, which is still far to long but not as long as has really been. Why? Well life got in the way of Coco Divas, and I will never let that happen again.
I’m sure we all have experienced a few months where your life is completely consumed by one particular entity. In this case it was work. We just completed a HUGE project at work that has truly overtaken every aspect in my life. The experience was one I will never forget and will always appreciate as it has contributed to my professional growth. Unfortunately it has caused me to neglect several other aspects of my life…Coco Divas is just one of the casualties.
I’ve had to come to terms with the effects of my tireless work ethic. I love what I do and can’t see myself leaving my chosen field of profession anytime soon. Like any job it has it’s ups and down. But the ups by far outweigh the downs. Case in point, my current assignment has me working in the Cayman Islands for a week. While it’s cold, ugly, and rainy in Atlanta, I can literally walk out of the back of my hotel and be on the beach. This is a blessing that I cannot take for granted.
But I must also not take my other blessings for granted either. My lesson from all this: I must better learn to balance the imbalance of my life and give attention to ALL that is important to me because all of my blessings are precious and are all part of my development and growth as a being on this great spinning ball of matter we call Earth.
As a Diva, that’s just how it is. Three cheers to getting it back on track and getting back to shining bright as a Coco Diva!
My Spirit Compels Me to Keep it 100
My spirit compels me to keep it 100 with you. First let me apologize for the delayed blog posts on my “11 Day More Divine Diva Challenge” but I just have not been able to bring myself to write anything of substance for the past week. A lesson I’ve been fortunate enough to learn from my Day 5 Challenge (details coming soon, I promise) is to not force this thing we call blogging. If you aren’t feeling it, don’t write because it will come across to your readers. That’s the last thing I want.
My spirit compels me to keep it 100 with you. I created Coco Divas because I wanted to, not because I had to. At the same time I write because I feel I HAVE to. I just can’t and won’t do it until that feeling deep down inside me compels me to. My fellow bloggers and writers know what I mean. That feeling that just relentlessly tugs at you, causing you to not be able to focus on anything else until the task is complete. It’s an inescapable force that is almost impossible to describe (at least for me personally), but it’s very real.
My spirit compels me to keep it 100 with you. If I can’t deliver 100 of myself, I won’t at all. It would pain me to subject you to pointless drivel. It’s a promise that I humbly make, and I humbly ask that you help me keep. My skin is tough…well kinda…most times…sometimes. Either way, keep it 100 with me.
My spirit compels me to keep it 100 with you. And I’m not stopping here. I need to strive to uphold this mantra in everything I do. Personally, professionally, socially, every -ally applicable. I deserve it and the people around me deserve it.
My spirit compels me to keep it 100 with you. That’s my challenge, that’s my charge. Now back to your regularly scheduled program.
Day 4: Channel Positivity
This by far has been the most difficult of my challenges. I’m not necessarily a negative person but I also don’t see the world through rose-colored glasses. What better day to challenge myself to a full day of positive thinking and positive actions than a Monday. We all dread the Monday Blues so why not take it head on.
It all started out pretty well, waking up with an extra pep in my step. My workday was just as adventurous as usual with the typical headaches and trials that I’m normally faced with, but I was armed with something new. I was armed with a commitment to not allow any weapons of hate or difficulty penetrate my thick armor. It’s amazing how you can face a day that otherwise would cause you stress, but instead those same stressors just roll off your back. That was my day… at least for most of the day.
I’m only human. I’m not perfect. I have my faults. Around 6 or 7 I had lost my spunk. I lost my edge. A few bugaboos penetrated my defenses and I allowed them to get the better of me. I became irritable and my patience level dropped to zero. I was home from work but not feeling relaxed as I should after a long day of work. I was miserable and I’m sure miserable to be around.
Then it happened, the moment that changed everything. The week before I ordered a new cell phone which I was very anxious to receive given that my old one was completely on the fritz. Well guess what had come in the mail earlier that day? To think a gadget could make me do a 180, but it did. Once again all was right with the world and my spirits were lifted. I absolutely love gadgets especially one that accomplishes so many functions, and trust me this one does! (formal review coming soon, stand by)
Was my day a success? I’d say yes. I spent MOST of the day in positive spirits and even though I faltered near the end I snapped back. That’s what’s important. Again, I’m not perfect and I don’t pretend to be. Even if I wasn’t able to be positive 100% of the time a 90% positive day is a great success in my book, and you know what, my book is the one I care to read.
Day 3: 11 people you’ve lost touch with
Remember back in high school when yearbooks came out and everyone would run around getting theirs signed by friends, acquaintances, and anyone else they could corner? What was that one phrase EVERYONE used for EVERYONE they knew? K.I.T. = Keep In Touch. You may have pondered on who actually would K.I.T. and who was just blowing smoke. Or your mind might wander on someone years later and wonder whatever happened to them. Well I have a confession, I’m probably that person who didn’t K.I.T. and same goes for post-undergrad. It’s not that I was blowing smoke or that I didn’t like anyone I went to school with, I’m just not good at keeping in touch with folks in general.
I do it now. I meet someone, we interact for awhile, and then I don’t follow up and to be honest I don’t think twice about it. It’s not like I’ve forgotten about then, but in my twisted mind it doesn’t feel like much time has passed. They’re still on my mind and part of my reality, but a month will go by but it will feel like I spoke them them last week. Or even a year flies by but it just doesn’t feel like it. Before you know it it’s been years, people have married, had children, or more children since I last spoke to them, and we’re just completely out of touch.
So I set out on Day 3 of my 11 Day More Divine Diva Challenge: find 11 people I haven’t spoken to in at least a month and call them to catch up. The objective was to jump start something in myself to do better with keeping in touch. When I set out to accomplish this goal I never expected it to have such an emotional impact. I called and spoke to family members, friends, folks I’ve worked with, and acquaintances. The original plan was to start from A in my contact list and start dialing. What ended up happening was speaking to one person would remind me of someone else I hadn’t talked to and before you know it I was all over the place. One moment I felt guilty for not calling sooner but that quickly dissolved once the conversation got flowing. I actually had to go to a second day just to finish the challenge.
The result? I’ve reconnected with people I care about and have been inspired to connect with more of them. 11 barely scratched the surface. so even if it means every weekend to call 3-4 people then I’ve won. I need to shake off the trap I’ve fallen into over the years and do better about reaching out. And if you’re the same way, let all that go and pick up the phone, or the very least send an email, text, IM, messenger pigeon, whatever. Just commit to do better and be that person who keeps in touch.
Yes She’s Fly: Naturi Beauty
This fly sista knows her way around a kitchen and is a beast when it comes to haircare. This week’s Diva Shout Out goes out to Naturi Beauty Concepts, aka Shelley Chapman.
The Naturi motto is simple: Nourish, Nurture, and Grow. As a personal chef Shelley whips up superb meals that are holistic, nutritious, and delicious. As the creator of the haircare line, Naturi Tress, Shelley concocts products that are natural, of quality, and result in a sumptuous head of hair. I can confidently say this because I have sampled her delightful culinary creations on numerous occasions, and use her product, Naturi Quench, on my own hair.
Shelley is also the host of a webisode series in the works, so keep an eye out for this media maven. Here’s a sneak peak of what you can expect from Bites & Delights.
Thank you Shelley for being so fabulous, keep ding what you do, and I applaud you as a Coco Diva!
Learn more about Shelley and Naturi Beauty Concepts by visiting her site and blog.
Day 2: Day of Pampering
After a trying yet successful Day1 mini-cleanse/fast, a day of pampering was right up my alley but I didn’t quite pull off a full day as I had planned. Started off a little late and didn’t get out of bed until after noon. But you know what, given that I hardly ever get to sleep in especially on the weekends, I was fine with that. I was rested, relaxed, and felt refreshed. Made myself a cup of tea, blogged, cruised the web, and just vegged out for a while.
By 3:00 I realized that I might want to actually start my day before it escaped me all together. After dragging my feet some more I finally got up, dressed, and was out the door by about 4:45-5:00. Obviously, I dragged my feet big time, but again, I’m fine with that. All day I’d been having a serious craving for some Swedish Crepes from IHOP and granted most of us are usually thinking about dinner or maybe even a late late lunch at 5 pm, my mind was still in breakfast mode. Hey it’s my day, I’ll do as I please!
After a very lovely “breakfast” I headed to the nearby nail salon for a much needed mani, pedi, and eyebrow shapeup. The spa pedi was heavenly and came with an awesome foot & leg massage. The mani was just as lovely with a delightful hand massage, and with the massage chair that almost put me to sleep I was on cloud nine. I went with a sparkling purple polish on the toes and a natural look for my fingers. After that came pain of the eyebrow wax…fun times. Beauty is pain ladies, beauty is pain.
P.S. You’re welcome for the free plug there Malibu, how about a little sponsorship?
Ended the day with a trip to Lowe’s then headed home for more vegging out and web surfing. Granted it wasn’t a full day of pampering but the sheer laziness of it all was pampering enough. A half day mini-pamper was just enough, I can do a full day another time. I got what I needed out of it and that’s all that matters. Now on to Day 3!
Day 1: One Day Fruit & Juice Fast/Mini-Cleanse
So yesterday was day 1 of my 11 day challenge to becoming a More Divine Diva. I thought it made sense to start off with a mini-cleanse so for 24 hours I consumed only fresh fruit and fruit juices. At the stroke of midnight yesterday the journey began. I love fruit and I love juice so I really thought it’d be a piece of cake. I went to bed around 2 or 3 am thinking I would wake up ready to take on the world!
People, I have never in my life spent a day being so hungry.
At about 10 am I was on the way in to work and stopped at the grocery store for some juice and an assortment of fruit, and had a banana and Mango Tango for breakfast. By 1:00 I was craving a burger. To add insult to injury someone at my office decided to refill the candy jar with a lovely assortment of miniature chocolate treats…did I mention my weakness for chocolate especially 3 Musketeers? Did I also mention someone decided to bring chocolate chip cookies for everyone, again my weakness for chocolate. I was cranky and snapping at people; I think one of our interns now fears me.
Around 2:30 I decided to get some fresh air and head to Smoothie King, a place I LOVE. After selecting a fruit only option and redeeming my free smoothie since I had reached 10 stamps, I happily walked out with smoothie in hand ready to continue the day productively. Walking to my car, my nostrils were filled with the most delightful smell of BBQ! You know in the movies when people spin around and camera is zooming in and out? I promise I had one of those moments, but I couldn’t see where the BBQ was coming from since there were no such spots in the area.
Dazed and confused, I ran to my car, jumped in, and got the heck outta dodge! The smoothie filled me up and I was able to make it through the rest of the workday without scaring any more interns. By the time I left work at 8 (mind you I should have left at 7 but I digress) I was starving again. Had some more juice and fruit for the trip home then spent the evening napping and just trying to distract myself from the hunger! Midnight hit and I was free! That chicken, spinach,mashed potatoes, and mac n cheese didn’t stand a chance, food never tasted so good!
Now I know it may seem silly to get so worked up over a one day fast, but people I’m a foodie and love to eat. Some even call my craven (a lover of food for my non-Caribbean readers). Hell I admit to my greediness and love of food so for me this was tough. But I’m proud of myself because it was less about what I was not eating but it was all about the challenge of depriving myself of something and seeing just how long I could go without. Could I commit to only fruit and juice and not stuffing my face with whatever I wanted? YES, and I can see myself doing it again! This challenge is all about discovering ways to put myself to the test which can only lead to my personal growth.
I’m now off to begin Day 2, my day of pampering. Granted it’s after 1 pm and I’m just starting but part 1 of the day was sleeping in ’til noon which I HARDLY ever do. Check back tomorrow for today’s review and reflections.
For the record, no interns were injured or harmed in this experiment.
